an entry

I went to visit my high school today. First time since I graduated.

It was so strange. 

They did some major renovations to the place. Some parts were the same, others completely new. Unrecognizable. In the old parts though, it felt like I never left. Most of the teachers I would have wanted to visit retired (those that were involved in theater) but I did run into a few other teachers I knew and was met by them with a blank stare. I guess I didn't really leave an impression at that school. I was a quiet kid. I didn't speak up much or do anything extraordinary. I'm not particularly an extraordinary person. I don't know what I was expecting.

Or maybe it's all bullshit when teachers say that they care about their students. Who the fuck knows. 

In any case it was incredibly weird to be back there again. 

I am glad to be out of high school.

I don't know if I would like to go back there again.

Why I will never find true love and therefore V-day sucks ass

Wrote this the day before V-day and performed it at No Shame. Decided to post it here cause... why not?:

I found a quote on google that said "true love only comes once. Don't fuck it up." But what about those of us who have a;ready fucked it up? Are we doomed to wonder the earth alone and become cat ladies?

The answer is, of course, yes.

I had my one chance at true love. He came to me in the form of a drunken Iowa student the weekend of the ISU vs Iowa game.

I met my would be lover outside of John's Grocery while walking with my friend Kayla. She will also be a cat lady with me, as this wonderful hunk of man was also her true love (I believe in threesomes. Don't judge me). We were on a mission to get eggs to make matzo balls from said grocery store, when all of a sudden a car pulled up beside us. The windows rolled down, and there he was. The most perfect man I had ever seen. He looked our way, stumbled out of the car, dropped one of the 2 beers he was double fisting, pointed at us and said "You're beautiful, I'm gonna get you pregnant." He then proceeded to pass out.

And like fools, FOOLS I TELL YA, we did not run into that man's arms! The siren call of the matzo balls was too strong; it was tempting us to their Jewy and kosher goodness! We fell prey to their call... and walked away.

Only later did we realize the mistake that we had made. That was it. That was our one chance at love, and we fucked it up.

You see, he didn't just want to make sweet sweet love to us. He wanted us to have his future drunken frat boys. His child... of love! Who I could then dress up like a panda or another equally fluffy and adorable animal. And if that isn't the ultimate sign of love, then I don't know what is. And if you think about it, being a woman of 20, I have officially evaded teenage pregnancy. Therefore there would be absolutely no societal stigma! AND I would have been able to have a threesome with Kayla. I am not a lesbian... but damn. The things I wouldn't do to that woman.

It would have been magical. But no. we walked away from happiness and opted for a lonely life of moo moos, lawn gnomes, and cats with silly names as Sir Douglas Bradford Kittiesworth and Mrs. Margaret Loraine Pawsington the Duchess of Milk.

And that is why I would like to say to the people who are in charge of this kind of thing (because they are clearly reading this) can we just get rid of Valentine's day?

This isn't one of those "Oh, it;s a greeting card holiday...and capital consumerism... media brainwashing" speeches. We've all heard those and OMFG they are so original... and I applaud them for their unique ideas that I TOTALLY have the attention span to listen to. But they don't change the fact that v-day still exists. 

Here's my argument. People in love get other days. They get anniverseries to display their love, and those can be as often as they want! "OMG it's our 53 and a half week anniversery BUY ME FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!"

Even without that kind of bafoonery, when you are in love you get every single fucking day of the year (or however long you are together) to BE in love, to SHOW each other you are in love, and to act disgusting in public.

Do you REALLY need an official day to show off your love, and rub said love in lonely people's faces? we're already alone, THANK YOU for reminding us of it.

So seeing as I am doomed to never find true love, I would super appreciate the removal of Valentines Day.

So until that happens, I am going to start my collection on cats. I am currently accepting name suggestions.

Thanks.